Wormhole Chasers (2007)
(Release Date: 2007)

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J.C. Maçek III The World's Greatest Critic! One of the biggest compliments a critic (whether World's Greatest or not) can get is the request from an up-and-coming Film Maker to review his or her work. Generally I get to see a cool movie before just about anybody else and the film makers get their work promoted in a poignant and humorous review. In many cases, this is the best chance an Indie Short can get for publicity, right? Oh... uh... except that... that On the Lot show on Fox. Part of Spring Into Action (2007)! More from Greg Zymet? Click Here! Trust me, you won't regret it! I'm just not sure I'd want to live near him! Yeah, there you go... there's Steven Spielberg and Mark Burnett and then there's... there's me. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Suddenly I'm not feeling funny or poignant. This brings us to Gregory Zymet, writer, director, composer of Apartment 206, NYU Film School graduate and finalist for On The Lot. Greg contacted me a short time after the film was made asking me to review his lil' flick (we go way back, y'see), telling me that "I couldn't sign the contracts." Which means (in my wild and crazy brain) "You had me at HELLO!" Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (again), I may have been blackballed from every Civil War Reenactment, Cheerleading Practice and Nude Painting class in Orange County, but Independent Filmmakers (and Lesbian Mountain Bikers... long story) absolutely love me! But an even harder-core group of fans are featured in the big Gee Zee's new short-short (it's about four minutes long... it'll take you longer to read this than to watch that) called Wormhole Chasers! It's hard to truly give a recap without spoilers in a film the length of eight commercials, but in essence we're looking at a quartet of adventurers: Michael Thorne (A.K. Murtadha), Bill and Betty Gulch (Travis McElroy and Del Gist, respectively) and hottie Claire (Kristen Lorenz), who clearly wishes to keep her last name as secret as Cher's, Madonna's, Prince's, Lennon's and Claw's (for the record it's Cheryl Sarkisian LaPierre, Madonna Louise Ciccone Penn Ritchie, Prince Rogers Nelson, Lennon Anne Murphy and Dr. George Claw, not that anyone asked). These guys chase Wormholes (hypothetical topological features of spacetime that serve as shortcuts through space and time, not that anyone didn't know) like the chicks from A Hard Day's Night chased The Beatles! And today they've converged on the humble apartment of one Marjorie Adams (Nancy Guerriero), the gracious hostess who gladly metes out plenty of soup and coffee to her new, unexpected guests who have all crammed in to her abode with the expectation that she's also about to host the next Wormhole sighting (man, that guy from Farscape had it wrong, didn't he?). It's not really fair to compare Wormhole Chasers to big screen, big budget flicks that might be rolled out by the likes of... well, Steven Spielberg. Wormhole Chasers is an independent short film made in one week's time with friends and allies of the big Z himself. And it's good! Like Apartment 206 before it, Wormhole Chasers is a compact film with a compact theme and an ambitious Director who knows exactly how long he needs to tell his story. Like Apartment 206, Wormhole Chasers takes place in... well... an apartment, with a whole, amazing expanse just out of reach. Like Apartment 206, the lighting, the camera-work, the effects and, yes, the acting are all better than they had any expectation of being. Wormhole Chasers is brief, but feels fleshed out (even if it leaves the viewer wishing for a sequel). There's a lot less substance to this film than there was to Apartment 206, but there's a lot more whimsy here. The film is funny and goes a few parsecs beyond merely "cute". It's a fun film that belies its run time by managing to come off as a complete film. A special mention should be made of Zymet's musical contributions here. It's hard to imagine the film would be quite so good without his underlying score. The music accents the surreal proceedings and mixture of real-world fandom with extraordinary subject matter. What's more, the playful tune keeps going over the credits, keeping smiles on the faces of the viewers as they shake their heads and say "Well, how 'bout that?" This isn't really the ol' "surprise twist ending"... it's more of that little clincher that reaches over with a feather for a quick, last second tickle. Four Stars out of Five for Wormhole Chasers. Look, it's a whimsical short, but it's a very well made whimsical short from one talented director and a gang of his amigos y amigas. Good job, gang! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to get onto a reality show called Leeching on the Real Talent where sycophantic, parasitic film critics like me compete for an opportunity to ride on the coat-tails of talented artists like Gregory Zymet in the hopes of getting their quote whore words on a DVD box or poster. Ick... Okay, now that I see that in writing there's no way I can sign those contracts! See you in the next funny, poignant Reel.